My daughter came to me and told me: “mum, I think you really need to watch the series ‘One Day’”. We like to enjoy series together and then reflect on them as a way of connecting with each other. I was curious. Why is it that my daughter wanted me so badly to watch? We watched same time every day, sometimes one episode, sometimes two. She already watched it herself, but she really wanted to share the moment with me. We arrived at the end of the series in an ocean of tears. My daughter knows well that I can cry watching a Pokemon movie, she knew very well where she took me. Both of us with tears in our face, she looks directly at me and just said: “They wasted so much time” … My centring inner question when feeling in a dilemma, or when I feel my Self in pain will be: “If I was to die tomorrow, will I respond the same way?”.
This week, as it usually happens, in my client work, I seem to find similar themes emerging from client to client. All of them in one or the other interconnected to themes flowing in my own life. It feels very much like the temperature in the sea that is passing through underneath the water, following a current. Yesterday while working with a client therapeutically, I kept listening in the back of my mind a song in Hindi, the rhythmic melody passing back just like the current at the sea. There are different reasons why someone may look for therapy, but it is always, always about Love, its different shapes and forms as I usually tell my counselling students: the not haven’t been loved the way we wanted to, the search for love and possibility, the not wanting that kind of love but another one, responsible love, dutiful love, love of justice, loose love, the lack of love, the too far away love, the too complicated love, cruel and hurtful love, Divine love, spiritual love and the list goes on. As soon as the session ended, I went to search for the song “Laal Ishq”. “Ishq” being an Arabic word meaning a kind of passionate way of loving widely used from a mystic expression to Bollywood style songs (like the one in my head) in different languages, Arabic, Hindi, Persian, Urdu etc… Laal Ishq - English and Hindi Lyrics With Full Song | LYRICS MANIA (youtube.com)
“Love is Recognition”, the Mexican poet and philosopher Octavio Paz expressed when asked about love: “We recognise on the other a very old image that we have had engraved in the unfolding of our being”, he expressed.
And yet, even though this recognition goes back to the essence of our origin, we also want to be recognised in our individuality. The not have been recognised can be a painful experience and the reason at the very core of must therapeutic work. But recognition has an inwards flow too. Somewhere somehow, to accommodates the demands of life and, a lot of the times, to manage the insecurity that may makes us feel to be abandoned, we let go of things that makes the vibration and rhythms of our soul expression. No vitality flows through us. Then, the abandonment that we have given to ourselves, we search on the partner to fulfil for us. It is quite common to have dreams through the years with the person we felt love for the first time in our lifetime. Those dreams can be very confusing, especially if you have a partner. But at its essence the dream seems to try to remind us of a long-lost lover of some aspect of ourselves that was alive back then, that used to flow in freedom and innocence.
Recently, I earned my yellow belt in Tae Kwon do. An old lover from my teens and early adulthood, I used to love feeling the power. When I came back from one of my lessons, I remember feeling a feeling of tremendous joy. I told my teacher that I wanted to begin from scratch regardless of where I was before, and in this way, I can enjoy its journey. “Sandra, are you using journalling at the moment as a therapeutic tool?” my therapist asked me.” Gosh! No…I haven't done it for a while, I have always had a notebook in which I will write all sorts of thoughts, dreams, projects, emotions, and ideas. I don’t know how it got lost. While driving, I was reflecting on the question and my relationship with writing thoughts down. And then, something dawns to me… Tengo muchos años que no escribo en español, pensé conmigo misma. Tengo la mitad de mi vida viviendo en Inglaterra. Con el tiempo, su lenguaje se ha ido absorbiendo en mis pensamientos e incluso conversaciones internas junto con su estructura. Al pensarlo, sentí una añoranza tremenda de sentirme reconectada a la lengua de mi madre. Un amor que no debo de abandonar. Siempre es el Amor, el amor y sus flujos. Todo flujo siempre busca llevar la Unión, la integración y el balance. Es un baile de el que nadie puede escaper! Google Translate
Mera Naam, Tera Naam, Mera Naam Ishq, Ye Laal Ishq,... My name is love, Your name is love...
Apna Naam Badal Doonn, Ya Tera Naam Chhupa Loon, ... Should I change my name? Or should I hide your name?...
Ye Kaali Raat Jakad Loon, Ye Thanda Chand Pakad Loon...Should I grab this dark night? Should I grab this cold moon?...
Din-Raat Ke Bairi Bhed Ka, Rukh Mod Ke Main Rakh Dun, ... The difference in light of day and night, Should I change it....
Tujh Sang Bair Lagaya Aisa, Raha Na Main Phir Apne Jaisa, Raha Na Main Phir Apne Jaisa,... My heart crossed swords with yours, In a feud as flawed as love. A love that changed my very name…...
To my beautiful daughter Zainab for her beautiful heart; to my soul sister, friend and colleague Waheeda Islam for her companionship in our journey back to wilderness and my dear soul brother Logan Sparks, for his presence!